That's A Wrap, Australia!

     Well, it's been one hell of a ride, and for the most part, I'd say it was worth it. I've learned a lot here, one of the most important being: I am very privileged and proud to be an American. Second, those random people you never expected to meet in your life that you boarded with in college? News flash, they are NOT the worst roommates in the world. Trust me, there is always another human being out there that knows how to prick your nerves worse than the person who already is. Hint: You share at LEAST a quarter of your DNA with them...give up?

This isn't even an Australian sunset, why'd I put it here? Because it's GORGEOUS!! Bali is HEAVEN!

     One of the happiest moments of all was when I started my internship at Expense Check! I found purpose for being in Australia. I'm eternally grateful for the experiences I had and what I learned working with them. The BEST times I had are with my Australian family that I learned to love and know. Seriously, they all saved my sanity swooping me under their wing as their sister.

Night Queen Vic Markets were the BEST!

     I must not forget that being able to go to the Melbourne temple was a very sweet experience. It was very nice to find home with the Spirit in this strange land.

This photo needs no caption, only one word. Home.

     There have been highs and lows, and some curves (think of Australia as the little sister that doesn't want to grow up) but all in all, Australia was a good choice.

The best dinner I've had yet! Pasta Bombay at Lazy's Moes. Seriously, the largest serving of pasta I've ever seen in my life! The catch? They don't do take-away boxes! What??

Australia, may you always look up to your big sister, America. We'll be rooting for you.

This was the coolest thing I saw going on down by North Melbourne Central station. Avengers unite!

Oh, and as a parting gift, Henry gave me his cold.

And that's the way it is, folks.

Jess

From Meh to Paradise and Back Again

Don't get me wrong, it's been quite the ride being here in Australia, and I've had a BLAST with these internships. I ain't going to lie though, Bali tops the cake! Who knew going to a third-world country could be so incredible!!

Before I left I told the CEO of Expense Check that I'd be gone for a week, and that I'd be happy to keep in touch for whenever needed. To which he responded, "Ppppsssht! No, you go ahead and enjoy Bali!" Rather generous reply, I thought. It wasn't until I got out of the airport that I understood exactly why!

While waiting in the front of the terminal, a good 15 meters from the front doors and I could already feel the humidity hitting me! So, I knew it was warm, definitely, but I wasn't not prepared for the SIGHT of this place! Green EVERYWHERE! I was in heaven! After our two hour drive to the villa we'd be staying in I began to be emotional at the beauty of the place! It was nearly a palace, and thanks to the awesome connections my mom has made through Zumba, we were offered to stay there for FREE!! No way...YES WAY!!

All meals were home-cooked, or hostess ate with us every morning and evening, and she was absolutely delightful! All the rooms had a balcony with an amazing view of the surrounding jungle, and a freshwater pool just outside? Yes, please!

"Semi-free" range monkey park (really they were everywhere) was so fun! I saw the most adorable baby monkeys clinging to the mothers, and so many more playing with each other! I walked out without a scratch. Wow, no injuries to report for that adventure...do I sense a change in the wind? Hmmmm...that's new.

That? Oh that's just a our very own freshwater pool.
No Big Deal.

Believe it or not, I had fun bargaining at the markets. Some of those people are so silly desperate to make a sale that if you're about to walk out of it they'll give you your first bargain! Or "Special price. Just for you," as they put it. It especially became easier when I got my own stash of cash, which only happened after I'd realized I tried at three different ATMs (three, people) to get cash using my credit card!! I felt like a little fool, but I had my moolah nonetheless.

Beaches so hot the water is actually WARM. It's no joke. No more of this, "It's not as cold as it usually is," deal. It's seriously warm! There were smaller pool at Kuta beach that were frying crabs for fun! Black sand beaches...can't beat that. ;)

Can you hear that? CRASH!!!

The only thing cooler than that was riding, feeding, and petting elephants! That's right. I rode on top of the largest land mammal in the world. Incredible!

Wood carvers, Batik, natural hot springs, Hindi temples and Barong & Legong dances...and the food was delicious! I told my mom, "You might have to leave me here."

Gorgeous temple inside Cafe Lotus!

Alas, I had to return. Still, the week was incredible. I must return, my second home must be Bali!

She decided to smile for the shot! :)

I just...can't...too much Adorableness!!

But guess what? Less than three weeks 'til I come home! I'm SO TOTALLY ready to come home, but still nervous at the same time, because I'm coming back to a new apartment and...no...job. What? How am I going to pay rent? I don't know... As soon as I figure out where to get a new job, I'll start eating again. How's that sound? Great plan, right.

Over and out y'all. See you soon.

Jess

Don't you just feel like jumping in???

No words. I have no words!

Labels Don't Matter and We're All Made of the Same Stuff

     Labels don't matter. Did you read that right? I'll say it again. Labels don't matter and stereotypes are overrated. So, guess what that means? Your worth is NOT defined by what the world labels you! Because at the end of the day, we're all people with emotional and physical needs and we're all made out of the same stuff. Okay?

     Remember how I said we're all made out of the same stuff? Guess what else? We're all sons and daughters of God who loves us and knows us all INDIVIDUALLY! He understands the challenges you face in this life, and because of this you are NEVER alone even when you think you are. You are NEVER alone.

     I don't normally do this, because of the touchiness of it, but I recently saw some talk about something Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said in his best wisdom and guidance by the Spirit to answer a question submitted by a member belonging to the faith. Because of the delicateness of the subject matter Elder Bednar took his time in responding to the question.
     Some of the comments left complained that Elder Bednar was saying that homosexuality is not a real thing that affects some people.

This is by no means what he was saying or implying.

     He says straight from the beginning, "We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior. We are sons and daughters of God."

     This means ALL of us. I don't mean a faved few, or only those that went to an Ivy League university. I mean ALL of us! Regardless of any label of race, religion or orientation. ALL of us are sons and daughters of God and He loves us ALL infinitely without end, and that love is unchanging.

     Elder Bednar was simply driving home the FACT that regardless of whatever anyone or anything is this world may call you, you are a beloved son or daughter of Heavenly Father and He loves you because you are His child.

     Pres. Dieter F. Uchdorf, second counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said:

"He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.”

     Heavenly Father's love for His children is infinite and unchanging no matter who you are, or who someone else thinks you are. Your value is immeasurable and eternal.

     You are the child of the most powerful and omnipotent Being in the Universe and He loves you! Remember that!

     I know this to be true as I know that the leaders of this Church are called of God and inspired by divine guidance to lead His children today.

Jess

The Answer to Creativity is by Going Backwards

     The world is getting more and more digital...and flatter. Flat phones, flat screen TVs, we're plugged in ALL THE TIME. With so much time being spent zoned out and constantly being stimulated with something there is hardly a need to do any of the thinking for ourselves. But if we don't think for ourselves, how will we get anywhere?

     I mean, this is just me thinking out loud here, but without having to do any of the thinking for one's own, where is the need for creativity? If there is no room for creativity, where are the keys for innovation going? Out the back door. We forgot about them yesterday in the sandbox.
     Even things that were originally designed to stimulate thought have gone digital. Guess what? You're not really as clear-minded as you thought, because you're plugged in just by using the computerized app of Stickies instead of spending the two bucks on a block of those peel and stick adhesive papers...what did we used to call those things? Oh yeah, Post-it Notes?

     Don't know what I'm talking about? You are stuck in trap of your own making, my friend.

     It sounds messed up (because it is), but if we are to keep this civilization alive and moving forward, really what needs to happen is we need to unwind and go backwards.
Pinterest is great and all, but is it really as satisfying as having that cork board on your wall congested with all your favorite magazine clippings of styles you want to try, inspirational quotes and people, and places you want to go, and dreams you want to achieve? No. Why? BECAUSE THAT STUFF ON YOUR PINTEREST BOARD ISN'T TANGIBLE! You can't reach through your screen and feel the crinkle of the pages you snipped or the sharp edge on that postcard. Besides, how inspirational can all that stuff be when you have to plug-in, charge, turn-on, and tap open your board just to look at it?

     No thanks. I'd rather pop my eyes open every morning and have my inspirational board be right there on the wall, speckled with rays of sunshine.

Trust me, old-fashioned is the way to go.

     If you think I'm weird, need I remind you that my two favorite fashion icons of all time are both dead?

Jess

White Nights at the Moomba Festival and Dead Feet

Coolest thing ever. Not just saying that, either.

     

     You know that when you've beaten a chest cold in a week and a half, but the rest of your family is still taking a month (and some) to get over it, that you've got drive. Seriously, what's life unless you live it like you are the strongest person in the world? I don't have time for a cold. I keep moving, doing everything else. My family kind of stinks at being sick. Each cough and sniffle voices another, "Ugh, my life is over."

     Really? You can't eat an entire bowl of chocolate OR kick a cold in the face? Sorry, am I being unrealistic? I keep forgetting I have a high tolerance for pain and low tolerance for wimps...Oops, I did it again, didn't I?

      On a happier productive note, Melbourne's White Night Moomba Festival last week was AWESOME!! I want to apologize to all Periscope users for my poor choice of broadcasting. Instead of streaming the totally cool, WOW-mazing light show in the State Library, I streamed some footage of a street concert...sorry. I did, however, film the light show. I've redeemed myself.

Just a giant gold monkey hanging
on the edge of a building. No big deal.

     Waves crashing on building, music and changing ceilings, snake-fish...things swimming in pools, and yummy gourmet mac n' cheese it was grand.
      After standing in an immovable line for over an hour, the mass of peasants and myself were herded through the bath house. Not to be mistaken for a luxurious spa resort, it's what they term their recreation centers, with 'MENS' AND 'LADIES' plastered in bold, serif letters on the from of the building. So, we might as well have thought we were standing in the world's longest line in wait for the toilets...
     Turns out, there was in fact something interesting to see inside. In the longest lap pool was projected a 3D animation of a snake swimming through golden eggs. The security guards were more than excited to get repeating that everyone needed to keep moving.

     I finally decided I was too hungry to wait any longer, lest I be on the edge of hangry (heaven forbid.) The party agreed that we'd stop by the food trucks. From the lot I selected a hut for gourmet mac n' cheese. Yes, such a thing exists. The tastiest mac n' cheese with pulled pork and bbq sauce EVER! Nearly considered going back for seconds then someone brought up ice cream. I had a mixed pray in my mind. Half of me wishing we'd find some as soon as possible, the other half quite certain I'd really overdone my sugar intake for the day and was sure I didn't need anymore.

     Our last attraction for the night was the State Library. This line was long, but at least it was living and breathing. In other words, MOVING! The performance of such a display cannot be described in words, only captured in the film and mesmerized by the mind.

     Walking around the city for the hours on end really takes the feeling out of your feet and legs, but nonetheless, we were determined to make it home. My comrades wanted to stop a McDonald's, but with there being 500,000+ people in the city and all transportation therein shutdown every was PACKED!
     When we finally found our way back at the train station we found that they were directing the flow of traffic into two lanes all the way down to the subway. The congestion of people was so great that the train was traveling at least 20 miles slower than normal. Unless you were related to or The Flash himself you had no hope of reserving a seat for yourself, so the entire hour of travel was spent standing on my numb and flubberish-feeling legs.

My pillow was never so more welcoming at 1:30 in the morning.

Jess

Confessions of a Guinea Pig...I'm Done Being the Guinea Pig

      I've accepted the fact that I'm genetically, and as a consequence, forever short and petite. I've accepted the fact that I'm naturally blond, and I continue to daily fight the societal stereotype that says the ultimate determinant of my intelligence is my hair color. However, I do not understand how either of these unchangeable facts doom me to a life (or eternity) or being the guinea pig to every new and/or worst situation that sweeps by wherever I happen to be. Am I just that unlucky?

     I decided to enroll in the online section of a class last semester and the first words out of the teacher's mouth at orientation are, "So, this is the first time we've ever done an online section of this class." Great...I got out of there with my dignity and a B+.

     After making the decision to take a semester off, quit my job and go to Australia, in preparation for my arrival the third-youngest decides to clear out, bunk with the second-oldest and grant me the...um...pleasure of rooming with the second-youngest...Thanks. I see why you ran out of there so quickly. 

     I never thought I'd miss having college roommates, but I think I'm beginning to see why I was able to score a private room for next semester. I'm going to need some time to recoup to regain the mental stability and stamina I'll need to share a room with any human being from ANYWHERE on the face of this planet!

     Is there some unwritten rule that the eldest always gets the shortest (no pun intended...ha) straw of the pick? And why does it bother me that they have no motivation to get up their butt up and ready to get to school on time? Is it because I've been trying to fall asleep to the glow of their ipod? Their snoring?? Probably a combination...but, hear me Universe when I say, "I'm done being the guinea pig! Pick on someone else to make a joke of."

     I feel like my head is swimming with so much stuff I can't figure out how to unwind! Oh Utah, how I miss you! Your mountains tops, your hot summers (that are actually hot), and all the familiar faces therein (I miss you all SO much!) I'll be home soon.

Jess

The Next Best Thing Behind Central Perk...

     Twas my great privilege this past week to discover just how satisfying a cup of hot chocolate can be. That's right, a cup of hot chocolate was found filling and satisfying. May sound weird, but not when I discovered that the cup of hot chocolate was as viscous as molten lava. They served it with a spoon, but it was hardly for the purpose of stirring. Where on Earth did I find this hot chocolate? I will tell you now, no, it was not at the base of Mount St. Helen's.

     Chocolateria San Churro is so tasty and cozy that if I lived any closer I might find myself going there daily. My mom and my twin scooped through the unfathomable thickness of the sustenance in front of them that not only did they doubt that they could finish theirs they immediately began to question whether or not I would be able to do the same.

Biscuit Crunch El Grande. It was grand indeed.

If you look closely, you'll see mine
(the orange one to the right)
is the only one that's empty.

     Out if the goodness of my own heart I let my mother have a taste of mine - a gorgeous concoction with crumbled chocolate biscoff cookies on top. The deliciousness of it combined with her lack of faith in the consuming capabilities of my stomach must have been so much so that she kept inviting herself to my bowl of heaven. She couldn't understand that I didn't need any help, it's chocolate for crying out loud! Take your spoon out of my chocolate heaven! Good grief...!

     You will all be happy to know that I was the ONLY one that finished my chocolate. All the way down to scraping the sides of my bowl, because it was so delightful. I could have eaten more, but my two companions asked for take-away containers for the rest of theirs...wimps.

You thought I was kidding about the chocoholic thing? Haha. Not at all. Not at all.

Cheers,

Jess

Two Internships! Finally Something to Do!

     The tender mercies from heaven have been POURING in! It has been beautiful weather, I've had delicious treats GALOUR, and (drum roll please...) I have TWO internships! Because of that, I've been to the city almost every day this past week! I love the city! It makes me feel like I have something to do - oh wait...because I finally do! Finally, I'm not just lounging around the house for 15 to 18 hours a day, or otherwise getting really stressed out because I know in the back of my mind I could be doing something far more productive.

Pretty sunset at Werribee Park.
I thought the perspective looked cool. 

     It may sound weird to some of you, but I actually like to have a project to work on. I like having something that gives me motivation to wake up in the morning. A feeling of purpose. Of course I love to exercise, but until these internships I was only filling my time with menial things that I could also do
back home.
     Going to the library...there is a library in Utah, TONS bigger 100 fold, by the way. Almost hate to say it, but the "city" library here is pretty sad. Only one floor of books that holds all sections non-fiction, fiction, and children's... That and my daily morning workouts was all I had to look forward to.
     Guess what, I can workout in the mornings at home too! Wow, isn't that just nuts...But now I've got something exciting giving me more drive to get moving in the mornings and even a bigger excuse to go into the city! Yes!!

So glad my efforts were not in vain! Here's for never giving up!

Cheers,

Jess

Parcell World Tour Continues with...Penguins.

     Adventure resumes, rather continues, on the #ParcellWorldTour as we headed to Cowes, Philip Island for the weekend. As in this occasion we had ALL seven children in tow it became necessary to rent a second vehicle for the trip. This being the case, Henry was very captured by the idea of having a new car to drive, so of course, where did he need to have his carseat moved to? That's right. So, I slipped my bag out of the "trunk" (if you could even call it that) of the new rental and moved it back into the van. A selfish endeavor of mine on this travel became that if I could get a couple of hours without Henry's whining, I was going to take it.

A cozy koala asleep at the Conservation.
Couldn't bat an eye for anyone.

     It was weird not having the bulky carseat bulging out on all sides of the backseat. Definitely more space, and much less suspense in the air that at any fragile moment the silence might be broken by the screeching frustrations of the toddler in all ears of the passengers in the air-tight space all around. The two-hour drive went quickly because of this when I looked up to see that we had come to the famous chocolate factory on Philip Island. The most appealing thing on the outside of the sign were the words that read "free sample" which was all Karly seemed to care about, and I can't help but agree! Who doesn't love free chocolate??

     The free sample nor the tour of the factory happened as it cost more money than anyone in the right mind should pay for such a thing, and we only utilized the factory for it's convenience of public toilets. We waved goodbye to the factory and sneered at the sad excuse of a "chocolate-themed" laser tag out back. Picture cardboard cut-outs painted and drawn on to look like chocolate bars...yeah. That was their chocolate-themed laser tag? Umm...no. Try again.

     The house rental was very pretty on the inside, though I would find out the hard way that the beds were not as comfy as they appeared. As I lay awake trying in vain to fall asleep later that first night, all I could think about was how much lack of support there was for my back where I needed it and how much it felt like I was stretched out across a springboard topped with a piece of sheet rock. Needless to say, I couldn't fall asleep. My only release was when I gave up on the bed, grabbed the extra blanket from the closet, and went out to the living room to make the straight, round-back loveseat as comfortable as possible. By this time it was about 5:45AM and I still hadn't even slipped into sleep stage: two.

     The only activity planned for the evening was to go see the "Little Penguin Parade". This little island in Australia is home to the world's littlest penguin that stands on about 12 inches tall (so cute!!). After tickets were paid for we walked all the way to the beach. I saw signs for such things as "General Admission" and "Penguin Premium". It turns on that everyone is shuffled down to the amphitheatre-like benches on the shore, and all we are to do is sit there are wait for the penguins to swim home after dark. What in the world a premium viewing is? I have no idea.
I suddenly became very appalled to the fact that these people had monetized something that occurs so naturally. We just paid you $25 a pop to watch some penguins swim up to a beach? It all seemed rather unethical to me, and I felt like a little bit of an idiot for falling victim to their scheme.

Beautiful sunset on the beach!

     We weren't supposed to take pictures, but naturally some dum-dums think they're clever enough to get away with it. Nope...one Einstein wannabe got caught TWICE! I really had trouble not laughing and rolling my eyes at him. Hmmm...yeah, I just wonder what that LED box in your palm could be, it couldn't possibly be a CAMERA, would it?? The rangers aren't that stupid, Watso. Nice try.
The penguins swam up, it was cute, then we all remembered we were cold.

     Our final day was LONG, to say the least. We drove up to Philip Island's Grand Prix track to have the privilege of watching my dad and Leo ride some go-karts. None of the rest of us could actually drive with them, because there is a "special" license needed to do so. The big girls hung out in the car for a good hour or so before the duo even started orientation. They got there eventually (Leo totally beat Dad, by the way).

Is here even trying to pass Leo?

     It was lunch-time, but there were no plans to scavenge for an appropriate lunch meal. No time to waste, Melbourne City was waiting with its giant dominoes stretched across the metropolitan. Our nook to watch a portion of the white concrete blocks tumble was cool and busy with the hundreds of other on-lookers.
Most of the children, meaning everyone except Henry, were hell-bent on getting some real food. Snack food is no substitute in place of a meal.

After doing her best to hold it together, my poor little sister's blood sugar had been tortured enough, and she just about ripped a box of pizza out of my brother's hands all for herself. I couldn't remember the last time, myself, that I had been so famished for the want of food that I wasn't just grumpy, but upon beholding the sight of sustenance I burst into tears. My dear sister, was so desperate. We were all on the grumpier side of the scale by this time in the day, we all needed a real meal.

The life-size dominos.
Not so big-as-houses as originally thought.

I was so grateful to be back at the house, and to have myself showered and clean.

Laundry time!

Jess

Queen Victoria Evening Market – Food Edition

     The day finally arrived that I would make my first cash advance with my credit card overseas and see it shink out of the National Australian Bank ATM in the form of monopoly money! Just kidding…but seriously. You think American currency looks like child's-play, just take a look at these! Whenever I received change back at my purchase I was ever so slightly tempted to say, “Um…no this isn’t real money, and no Pepsi is NOT okay.”

     The ride into the city is still a bit of a mystery as to how in the flippin’ WORLD we found the place. We got on the train to Flinder’s St, but Mom said to get off at Melbourne Central. No, we can’t get to Melbourne Central on this train we have to step off in North Melbourne, get on another train, go BACK, get off at Flagstaff and THEN get on another train that goes to Melbourne Central. It’s all very dizzying. From there, the plan was to meet up with my darling sisters at the Uni (sorry, university, these people talk funny) and head into the market from there. But of course, my twin always has another, last minute, great idea that somehow is always better than mine. Hmmm. Weird.

     You want to just meet up at the Vic Market instead? Okay! As soon as I figure ooouuutt…where Nooorth is…?? Right. There are no mountains or giant space needles sticking up in the horizon, remember? So, between my brother and me we shook up the etch-e-sketch board map (that’s how concrete travel plans always turn out to be) and made an improv route to the Vic Market via Franklin St. I think I only huffed at him once, and he smart-mouthed twice…or maybe it was the other way around.

     I don’t even remember where the heck that is now…it’s by La Trobe right? Running North- South? No…wait.

     We got to the Market just as they were setting up and smoking up the grills. So, I think we picked the perfect spot to wait for the slow-pokes (that’s right, we beat them there) wagging their tails behind them. A certain BBQ booth was burning hickory wood to roast their meat and it smelled DIVINE! Hoy Pinoy, Filipino grill was my first choice of the night. I chose to give variety the benefit of the doubt and went with not one, but two skewers of meat. One pork, one chicken. Do you remember the first time you tried eating pork by ripping it apart with the bare of your teeth? Yeah, me neither. One thing I DIDN’T consider before I made that choice.

     As we sat at a café table enjoying our spoils there seemed to be some sort of, um, “performance” going on at this stage set behind us. Picture this: the worst crossed-dressed, blonde-wigged, fitness trio from the 80s. Got it? Okay, now picture them flipping each other over themselves and other things, AND (this is my favorite part) dragging in the innocent bystanders as tributes. See it? Okay, now put all of that to the strangest-sounding, I’ve-never-heard-of-this-rock-band music ever patented on this planet.

     All I’m going to say is I don’t think ANYONE in a sober mind would attempt half the things they did. No, really. I’m pretty sure I heard a guy or two yell “OOMPAH!!” at the top of their lungs. Drunkards for sure, I’m tellin’ ya.

 

It was DE-LI-CIOUS!!

     After that it was a cinnamon chocolate-filled soft Bretzel (Bretzel. Not Pretzel, Bretzel) and two hot, freshly-made jam doughnuts from the American Doughnuts Kitchen. Pretty spot-on, Australia. Good job.

     On the way back, Maddie gave us all the latest at her *lovely job that she so adores, and about what enormously tasking duties she gets paid to do at a much lower salary than her superiors. Even here she manages a sense of humor. That is something I hope I can echo. As long as you can laugh, nothing is as bad as it seems.

*Insert the biggest amount of sarcasm you can muster.

     What a fulfilling night! I can’t wait to go back! It’s night’s like these I wish I had a bottomless appetite and an invincible metabolism.

Cheers,

Jess

A Battle Between Father and Son...Someone grab the popcorn.

As a journalist, I find myself taking in scenes in my life and thinking of how I might give them a good intro...  

     Tonight, Dad found his authority as the patriarch of the house being challenged by (duh, Duh, DUH!)...the baby. Dinner was about to start, which means blessing the food. Henry thought it had been previously agreed upon (due to the aftermath of a over-dramatic tantrum performance) that HE would pick out who he wanted to say the prayer, dad would agree, and all would be well. Sadly, however, this fantasy of Henry's is not his living reality, as he had hoped.
     Henry wanted Dad to say the prayer, but Dad wanted Millie to grace the deliciously-prepared food we would soon harbor in our bellies. When Dad insisted that he was okay giving Millie the privilege, let's just say that didn't rev Henry's respiratory engines the right way. Screaming, crying, and gnashing of teeth ensued as Millie began to speak her humble respects. The pitiful creature was escorted to his chambers to take a chill pill.

     While the seven pieces of nine enjoyed a scrumptious Mexican dish prepared by the nurturer of the home, Mama bear herself was trying her best to settle Henry down. Later a tear-stained, rosy-cheeked toddler came back out and said, "I'm sorry for screaming, can we say another prayer?" Yes, another plea to the heavens was given as he requested. Dad even agreed to say it this time. How sweet of him.

     Family Home Evening assembled shortly there after. We are, once again, venturing out of Point Cook on a little getaway inside of our #ParcellWorldTour. Everything from dominos the size of houses (okay, not really, but seriously) to go-karting and hanging (no pun intended) with some wedge-tailed eagles.

"Wedge-tailed eagles would eat bald eagles if they found one," Dad said.

     Wedge-tailed eagles eat the symbol of all America stands for for breakfast...wonderful.
Oh, Mom said we are planning our own seven out of the nine meals. We're NOT eating out every meal. Leo suggested that we make sure to eat white bread.

     The big girls are planning to go to the evening Victoria Market on Wednesday.We are? I mean, WE ARE!! Mom remarked that the evening Vic Market only happens on Wednesdays, because it's just a bunch of food. Jordan became flustered in amazement at Mom's tone of voice towards the idea of hosting an event solely featuring edible sustenance.

"It's JUST food??"

Millie wanted to come too, but Mom decided it would not the best picture.

"Because of school, and the age gap, and...we range from two-years-old to 23 to...*motioning at her and Dad* we're not going to talk about it...," Mom stated with ultimate firmness.

     It is planned that this should trip be a blast, however, should one of us die if something doesn't go as planned Mom assures we'll all make the best of it. She did so by reminiscing on a very peculiar Christmas traveling experience some odd years ago. It almost seemed irrelevant. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

     The right person needs to say the dinner prayer and everyone needs to kneel in a complete circle every night, that's all...

And that's the way it is folks.

Jess

Some Mindless Banter if You Care to Listen...

You know, I really wish you could pick the font-size of your punctuation in your facebook posts. Why? Because it kind of seems weird to me BOGGLES me when people respond to a post like, "That's funny." or "That's hilarious." It doesn't seem genuine to me. "Yeah, I can really tell that you enjoyed that post in the way that you misappropriated the punctuation to the statement." Let me rub it in a little just how much I noticed their lack of effort to emphasize the emotion that consumed the majority of their remark.

Androids should die. I'm sorry, no, I'm not sorry. I've spent that past three weeks trying to get used to a prepaid phone (that just stopped working already, by the way) and it's repaying me with a headache. Honestly, any phone that isn't an Apple doesn't belong in my purse. Besides, for the first time in my life I have the wonderous pleasure of data. This becomes an ENORMOUS reliability when I lose my way MINDLESS trying to find my way through Melbourne.
See this wouldn't happen if people built their cities on a grid and stuck with it. I have NO point of reference, thus I'm not even positivity sure which way North is (I know when I wake up in the morning the Sun is in the sky, that's about it). I can't look to the horizon and spot ANYTHING that tells me which direction I'm looking in. No mountains, no tallest-building-in-the-world-you-can-see-it-from-space, NADA. Only confusion and anxiety. It feels hopeless. I've almost become content with the assumption that if I ever moved permanently outside Utah, my death would be very quick to follow. I'm almost there...dear me.

Henry MUST have perfect symmetry before we begin family prayer. If we are not all placed in a perfect circle he will tell the misfitting individuals where to move as to complete the shape. Then he returns to his own spot in absolute contentment and closes his eyes (he's so cute sometimes).

Schmidt from New Girl is the funniest man alive, I swear. I can scroll through Pinterest posts/links for hours laughing my head off. Eventually I inhale to a good day renewed.

I'm done, for today. Goodnight.

Jess

Phillips Island and a Whole Lot of Rain

Cool rocks at Lorne Beach. Nothin' better than chillin' with the crabs.

     I had my overnight bag packed and ready, I also pulled myself out of bed at 6:30AM so as to have my shower time before the other seven people came banging on the door wanting their share of the hot water. My dad said to plan on leaving around 8:00AM, so I was completely ready, breakfast eaten and all, by that time however...not everyone else was. So in actuality we didn't leave until about 9:57AM - my family isn't exactly known for their punctuality. Guess who the fashionably-late-to-church champions are? Yep.

     I buried my head in my book as we pulled away and was surprised when I looked up to find that we were back in the exact same place twenty minutes later. Always forgetting something. Two hours and several chapters later we finally arrived. The rainy weather didn't stop us from hiking out to the lighthouse on the coast. Umbrella or not, it's Australia, we may never be coming back (I swear, guilt tripping is my family's favorite tool) so we all went up there. While the sky was not the friendliest, the waves quickly became my favorite. It was worth it.

How awesome is that?? Sunshine, a nice breeze, and some roaring waves. Nothin' better than that.

     Still, the treetop walk would have to wait for shinier, warmer skies. After some fish n' chips at The Salty Dog, Lorne Beach we finished the journey to the "hotel". I've come to the realization that my definition of a hotel must be an American one, because at none of the traveling accommodations we've stayed at has there been provided cute little bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Yes, towels and sheets (beds are not previously made up for you), but no personal hygiene items. Nope. However, in the places that had a little kitchen area there were plates, cups, utensils, dish soap, even a few cooking pans...is this a little turned on it's side, or is it just me?

     The rain forest walk the next morning was fantastic! It was a little warmer and the aroma inside the quenched wood was almost intoxicating! Come to find later that it was from the lemon myrtle trees. I wished I could've snapped a picture of that scent, I couldn't remember the last time I'd smelled air so fresh!

     The treetop walk was, to say the least, thrilling. A certain "tree tower" was 188 feet above the ground. I'm not afraid of heights, but...a little shaken. Speaking of shaken, the next part of the walk was on a structure that wobbled A LOT as we moved across it. The seven of us kids were more than happy to move on with the hike while dad lingered behind. We stared at him on the bridge above and across from us as he snapped pictures and blurted out challenges, that belonged in scouts, and the forest floor at Maddie. Did he want us to be at scout camp??

     Twelve Apostles rocks and our last venture of the day was one last hurrah to Triplet Falls. My younger sisters wonder out loud forever how much longer of the two kilometer hike they had left. They so very much longed to be back in the car. Karly tried making the best of it. She'd conquered Uluru, she could do anything.

     Lorne Beach again for lunch. A sausage roll from Grandma Shield's bakery and some more chips from The Salty Dog. I was more interested in the fact that cockatoos were just hanging out like they came here every day (because they DO!) There were about 10 of them perched above the fish n' chips shop and several more in the surrounding trees. One was so social that it straight up landed on Jordan, fully expecting to be fed. The devastating part of this story is it flew away before I got picture!

It's not Snappas, but there were pretty good anyway.

     Some ice cream and it was time to go home. There's something fulfilling about unpacking only taking five minutes.

Cheers,

Jess

On Top of the World in the Melbourne Star

Traveling around non-stop at exactly 1 kilometer per hour.

     What a week. After Jordan landed here in the land down under it was expected that she would have a period of rest to recover from an extreme case of jet lag (still recovering.) 

     As the day was gloomy, overcast and threatening of thundering showers Henry's request to go on the "spinning wheel" (a.k.a The Melbourne Star) were turned down repeatedly. However, Henry pretended to not hear this and continued to voice his desire relentlessly. Miraculously, the weather took a turn for the better, and my mom wasted no time in ignoring Henry's wishes. So, we pulled Jordan off the couch and were on our merry way into the city.

     It was a good experience, traveling at about the pace of a snail with an automated tour guide voicing his way into our observation hub. It was neat to finally be at the top and see the many waters that surrounded the city on the coast.

     To have something else to do we walked inside the little gift shop. Everything souvenir-ish from mugs and giant pencils to hand-cranking music boxes (much to the amusement of Maddie and Karly) and key rings were all plastered with The Melbourne Star and logo somewhere on it. With the exception of some crystal jewelry, everything was branded with The Melbourne Star not just Australia.

     Maddie's enthusiasm with the shop was draining quickly and she soon expressed her eagerness in leaving the premise. Then my mom did something really crazy...

     Instead of driving back home, since the car was park so conveniently underneath Costco (yes, even in Australia) she pushed all seven of us (all SEVEN) into the over-sized-everything-super-sized warehouse. She had an epiphany. She didn't think that it had ever occurred in the history of time that she had ever brought all seven children with her into Costco. Why did it take Australia, of all places, to bring this pivotal moment about? I have no idea.

     We graced through the store without a shopping cart. Who needs a shopping cart when you have seven kids? Honestly, sometimes I feel the only thing my mom thinks I'm good for is cheap labor...thanks, Mom.

All this is preparation for Phillips Island.

And that's the way it is.

Cheers,

Jess  

My Family is Weird, But I Wouldn't Trade Them...

     Family conversations can actually be really comical sometimes. I like to write down snippets of exchanges between family members. I can't help it, they're just so funny!

Just in the last 24 hours - how I wish I'd had time to write ALL of them down!


Discussing the fact that Australians don't say their 'R's:

Mom: "What do they do when teaching their kids how to read? Like, what do they do when the get to the 'R'?
C-A-R
'I don't know, I just kind of pretend it's not there'"

May I ask a question in return? We Utahns don't say our 'T's or 'D's, so what do we REALLY do when we get to those consonants? 'Well, you know, we jus-(t) kin-(d) of inser-(t) i-(t) in. It's more implie-(d) than sai-(d)'

Any more questions about the various dialects of English?

Class dismissed.
---
Apparent concerns arose in Maddie's mind as she thought of going to pick Jordan up from the airport...

Maddie: How are we supposed to greet Jordan when we get to the airport? We're not really a 'huggy' family...

Mom: Says who? Do you want to be?

Maddie: I don't know we just kind of jump up and down, and...*Karly brings springing about spontaneously like an overjoyed cheerleader*

*rounds of laughter*

Mom: We could be a body-slamming family.

Ugh, no. Please no. I'M the huggy person in the family. That's why my membership doesn't make sense, remember? I'M the one that gives hugs and stuff while you guys just stand there trying not to appear obviously awkward in the overwhelming social status of the culture EVERYWHERE.

I've noticed that I've grown so accustomed to the fact that my family is so NOT touchy that whenever they do anything that IS - give me a hug or something - it's not endearing at all, it feels alien. I am generally an open person to people's touches of affection, but when my immediate family does it I just feel, 'Ugh, why, w-why are you touching me? That's just weird...' Except Henry. Henry's hugs are always cute.

---
Karly wants to be an honorary YCL at Girl's Camp this year, because she's not 16 yet. She says she can show the other girls how:

Dad: But you've never been one!

Karly: I know, but I've seen one!

Dad: Yeah. (with a whooping over-dose of sarcasm)  'Hey, but you're not a pilot' 'I know, but I've SEEN one. I can fly this plane'...

Mom: Oh, you'd make a great YCL, Karly, it's just...

Karly: Yeah, but then you have to talk to people and be all 'Oh, I'd do anything for you!' And, that's just not me...

We have a troubled YCL here. I think I've concluded Karly doesn't like to talk to people, but somehow is always the one making people laugh, with Maddie as her sidekick (we've all determined that's her future career).

This may become a regular. Parcell Family Circus...nice.


Cheers,

Jess

My Brother's Grammar is Hilariously Incorrect When He's Upset

     Living in a house with five of my six siblings has been a huge throwback (slap-in-the-face, tsunami-powered wave, I got more) to what it was like before the blessed college days and roommates. Yes, that's right. I'm calling my college career blessed. For soooo many reasons I'm discovering I took for granted.

     Still, in this rush of memories and in between the bouts of my little baby brother's tantrums I'm finding his adjustments to the reality of life pretty entertaining. As I write this he is over-concerned that his remote-controlled toy train is going to get him, gouge his eyes out and devour him lest it be kept on it's set of wooden tracks. He expresses this through a series of high-pitched squeals and wails (Seriously, how does he do it? I've been trying to get my voice up there for AGES.)
     It's amazing to see the turn of emotions as Henry's excitement turns from absolute euphoria to pure horror. Lesson: NEVER set a toddler's train on any surface other than its designated path.

Tell him you want to take a picture and he's there.

     Now he's teasing me, tugging at my legs and saying, "I-i-i foound yoou!" What is this? Henry is really the only sibling whose toddler-hood I remember. That must mean that either the other six were complete bliss (including mine), or that, being the eldest, I just placed myself above all of them and never bothered to pay them any mind. However, I know for certain the former is certainly not true. Hmmm...no, you're right, there's got to be another reason, because even I surely am not that vain.

What he did when I told him to make a funny face. Silly.

     I'm officially putting in writing that all toddler's experience an inevitable "phase", if nothing more, of bi-polar disorder. Complete manic one moment, then kicking and screaming for a nap or whatever other train monster happened to befall upon their path.

     Often times when Henry is upset he begins with a sob of "___ made me sa-a-ad!" I've also noticed that even with his elite and extensive three-year-old vocabulary he slips up and says things like, "Her made me sad" and "Her hurt me" instead of "She made me sad" and "She hurt me".

He just started taking pictures.
Hey, the kid knows touch-tech like the back of his hand...almost.
He's basically a professional in the kiddie community.

Henry didn't scream, but he is NOT ready for a nap!

     So yes, as sad as it may sound, even amongst my brother's tantrums, I still find a pocketful of sunshine to pull out. It makes me smile.

Cheers,

Jess

Family Time and a Zombie?

     The evening was winding down, I had helped finish up the dinner dishes so I figured it was fair time I get ready for bed. I cleaned my face off and decided it was a perfect night to use a sheet face mask.

     After I slapped that on I was lounging on my bed, sitting down to read awhile when I heard my dad stopping at everyone's bedroom doors to ask them to come out for family scripture study and prayer. I'm not sure why, but suddenly I felt embarrassed I'd put the sheet mask on. Boy, was this going to look weird, but why did it matter? I'd had clay masks on my face before and I felt it was no big deal. But no, a sheet mask changes the the whole playing field. No, that's not alright at all. How could one even fathom walking out into their own living room, even in the midst of family (heaven forbid), with a moist sheet mask plastered on their face?

     Sure enough, the wrapping of the knuckles sounded on my door and it was time to take the walk out in the open. Well, one thing's for sure, if no one else cared to show sign they'd noticed, Henry certainly did. He looked straight up at my face, pointed at me and said "What's that?" I brought my hands up near my face and gave him and hushed "Boo!" My efforts rewarded me a giggle and a grin. My mom took a glance at my appearance and I must have been quite the sight, the beginning of the Apocalypse even! I'll spare you the visual aid so you won't share in her pain, you're welcome. See, you know something's weird when your mom gives you a blank face. What am I saying? ANY face from your mom means something's wrong (almost always, just to be safe).
     Unfortunately for Henry, my dad had already started reading so his question would not be granted an answer at that moment. As the family knelt for prayer I had trouble not smiling, because I could hear Henry's squirms on the carpet throughout its duration. The sweet little boy tries so hard to be good and patient! It's so cute it makes me smile.

     He popped back up and repeated again, "What's that?" My mom told him it was, "...something to make her face...?" I'm not sure why she trailed off here, as if the answer is the core meaning of life, so I finished for her, "Feel better." See? So easy. I could've said too make me beautiful...duh, but I refrain from appearing vain as often as possible. I'm such a saint, I know.

     The evening was still a success, even with the apparent visit from the walking dead.

Cheers,

Jess

Uluru: A Twist of Beauty and New Dimension of Hell all of Its Own (Part 3)

     At around 5:30AM Friday I heard my dad get up and go outside to see if the Sun was peeking it's face above the horizon. Alas, it was playing bashful again and would not be seen that day. I set my alarm too...for 7:30AM forgetting that, unable to connect to a strong wifi signal, my clock was still an hour and a half forward. So, I lay in bed for another half hour and arose to get breakfast.

     Yes, it was another one of my mother's breakfast cookies and a banana. My sisters eventually followed suit. While I was content with my proportionate breakfast, my little sisters seemed to think all the English muffins and raspberry jam (and most of the Nutella) needed be devoured before we flew home.

     My morning was just as simple as the day before, and I was bored watching them eat their breakfast, so I grabbed my camera (okay, my itouch) and walked outside to try and get close enough to take a picture of a peculiar-looking bird I'd seen on far too many occasions these past few days.

Look at him. Just chillin' like it's cool.

     Walking down the dirt stretch I found my new friends with their puffy chests and their hipster feather-cuts popping their little beaks into the dirt for the morning meal. It turns out the bird I encountered is the Australian crested pigeon, your modern-day troubled adolescent version of the ordinary American pigeon. I say this because the crested pigeon sports a black mohawk feather-do starch off the top of it's head and sounds like a dying quail (nice one, Australia). It's a good laugh.

     It was now time to head to the airport, which I was already dreading, because of the eight flights I've been on in the past four months not one of them was without great hassle or delay. Whether that be having to lose a large bottle of lotion because it turned up in the wrong suitcase (or in my most recent encounter my all too multifunctional Leatherman utility knife), or an hour or more flight delay because of weather conditions there has ALWAYS been a hassle.

Doesn't he look troubled? Rebel, if I ever saw one.

     You know, I think they should have you check your luggage AFTER security. That way you have more than just a skim and vain hope that you have a relative standing on the other end of the tape to take whatever it is back home for you, with your only other option left for them to toss your possession.
When I realized all too late as we walked through security (this was going TO Uluru) that I'd forgotten to take my utility knife off my keychain, my brain took that along with all the other emotional memories of my past flight experience of months previous and mashed it all together in one big, livid flame on top of my head. Great. Just great! I thought I checked that. One of the few most multifunctional and purposeful items I own(ed), my human error, and my only option is to toss it! What a perfect way start to this get-away!

     To say that I was frustrated is an understatement. What makes it even more frustrating is that the security folk look at you like they're completely indifferent and don't care that they're about to throw your things away, and that money doesn't go on trees. I get that they have to do this all day, but come on, guys! You're not making it easier! When I travel I don't start packing and think, "Hmmm...now, what would I be okay throwing out on a whim? ", and only pack those things. No, I pack what I need and plan on bring it all with me and back with me with the exception that it's edible.

See those hairs sticking straight out of my head? Remember my surgery? Yeah, seven months later
they're taking a little bit of forever to grow out.

     Oh, don't get me wrong, I love traveling! It's the getting there I hate. Unlike trains, trams, and buses I can't just say Don't worry, I'll catch the next one in 20 minutes. You miss a flight, it's hours layover time. Ugh.

     I guess you could say at this point I'd about lost my patience with commercial flying. In terms of flying, I'm overdue ready to be back in Utah and stay put for awhile. I think it's a new peeve of mine. I hate flying.

     I was praying with everything I had left in me that somehow, by some miracle things would go smoothly. Thankfully they did. I finished my book, and the landing was safe.

Now, to land that internship.

Cheers,

Jess