Who Am I?

Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Saturday, January 23, 2016

On Top of the World in the Melbourne Star

Traveling around non-stop at exactly 1 kilometer per hour.
     What a week. After Jordan landed here in the land down under it was expected that she would have a period of rest to recover from an extreme case of jet lag (still recovering.) 
     As the day was gloomy, overcast and threatening of thundering showers Henry's request to go on the "spinning wheel" (a.k.a The Melbourne Star) were turned down repeatedly. However, Henry pretended to not hear this and continued to voice his desire relentlessly. Miraculously, the weather took a turn for the better, and my mom wasted no time in ignoring Henry's wishes. So, we pulled Jordan off the couch and were on our merry way into the city.

     It was a good experience, traveling at about the pace of a snail with an automated tour guide voicing his way into our observation hub. It was neat to finally be at the top and see the many waters that surrounded the city on the coast.

     To have something else to do we walked inside the little gift shop. Everything souvenir-ish from mugs and giant pencils to hand-cranking music boxes (much to the amusement of Maddie and Karly) and key rings were all plastered with The Melbourne Star and logo somewhere on it. With the exception of some crystal jewelry, everything was branded with The Melbourne Star not just Australia.


     Maddie's enthusiasm with the shop was draining quickly and she soon expressed her eagerness in leaving the premise. Then my mom did something really crazy...
     Instead of driving back home, since the car was park so conveniently underneath Costco (yes, even in Australia) she pushed all seven of us (all SEVEN) into the over-sized-everything-super-sized warehouse. She had an epiphany. She didn't think that it had ever occurred in the history of time that she had ever brought all seven children with her into Costco. Why did it take Australia, of all places, to bring this pivotal moment about? I have no idea.

     We graced through the store without a shopping cart. Who needs a shopping cart when you have seven kids? Honestly, sometimes I feel the only thing my mom thinks I'm good for is cheap labor...thanks, Mom.

All this is preparation for Phillips Island.

And that's the way it is.

Cheers,

Jess  

Thursday, January 21, 2016

My Family is Weird, But I Wouldn't Trade Them...

     Family conversations can actually be really comical sometimes. I like to write down snippets of exchanges between family members. I can't help it, they're just so funny!

Just in the last 24 hours - how I wish I'd had time to write ALL of them down!


Discussing the fact that Australians don't say their 'R's:

Mom: "What do they do when teaching their kids how to read? Like, what do they do when the get to the 'R'?
C-A-R
'I don't know, I just kind of pretend it's not there'"

May I ask a question in return? We Utahns don't say our 'T's or 'D's, so what do we REALLY do when we get to those consonants? 'Well, you know, we jus-(t) kin-(d) of inser-(t) i-(t) in. It's more implie-(d) than sai-(d)'

Any more questions about the various dialects of English?

Class dismissed.
---
Apparent concerns arose in Maddie's mind as she thought of going to pick Jordan up from the airport...

Maddie: How are we supposed to greet Jordan when we get to the airport? We're not really a 'huggy' family...

Mom: Says who? Do you want to be?

Maddie: I don't know we just kind of jump up and down, and...*Karly brings springing about spontaneously like an overjoyed cheerleader*

*rounds of laughter*

Mom: We could be a body-slamming family.

Ugh, no. Please no. I'M the huggy person in the family. That's why my membership doesn't make sense, remember? I'M the one that gives hugs and stuff while you guys just stand there trying not to appear obviously awkward in the overwhelming social status of the culture EVERYWHERE.

I've noticed that I've grown so accustomed to the fact that my family is so NOT touchy that whenever they do anything that IS - give me a hug or something - it's not endearing at all, it feels alien. I am generally an open person to people's touches of affection, but when my immediate family does it I just feel, 'Ugh, why, w-why are you touching me? That's just weird...' Except Henry. Henry's hugs are always cute.

---
Karly wants to be an honorary YCL at Girl's Camp this year, because she's not 16 yet. She says she can show the other girls how:

Dad: But you've never been one!

Karly: I know, but I've seen one!

Dad: Yeah. (with a whooping over-dose of sarcasm)  'Hey, but you're not a pilot' 'I know, but I've SEEN one. I can fly this plane'...

Mom: Oh, you'd make a great YCL, Karly, it's just...

Karly: Yeah, but then you have to talk to people and be all 'Oh, I'd do anything for you!' And, that's just not me...

We have a troubled YCL here. I think I've concluded Karly doesn't like to talk to people, but somehow is always the one making people laugh, with Maddie as her sidekick (we've all determined that's her future career).

This may become a regular. Parcell Family Circus...nice.


Cheers,

Jess