I Am a Klutz, Just Accept That

     It happens all the time, I promise. No really, just accept it now. Yes, I am asking you to accept the truth even before I tell it to you. Crazy, no?

     Sitting on the couch watching netflix, proud of myself, because I'm being oh-so-careful to be a lady and eat this slowly melting Wendy's chocolate frosty in such a manner I don't completely the table I'm seat at. Quite convenient actually, I take it with me everywhere I go. It gets me places, though quite slowly sometimes, I might add, and I always know where to find it.
     I look down and weep in horror. I've tarnished my beautiful, lovely white shirt! Honestly, no matter how careful I am I always manage to make a mess of myself. Now what do I do? Oh, wonderful, my significant other just saw that. Oh the beautiful, hulking thing is getting a napkin for me to polish myself up with. Oh, it's green. Oh, now so is my shirt. Don't worry, I'll just wear my jacket over it now, and wash it later.

    He insists on helpful me get the distasteful spot out...with a bleach pen. Great, they're gone! But now there are bleach rings all over the shirt. Oh well, now I really will where the jacket, I was getting cold anyway.
    Who knew one could trip over one's feet going down UP the stairs!! Why don't we just put the cherry on top, and have me do a straight face plant? That's right, voluntarily. You heard me... No? You sure? Everyone else thinks it's hilarious...Oh no, wait, sorry wrong word. I'm "cute", that's it. I'm "cute". No, no, you spelled that wrong it's "clumsy".

    Why do I spend so much time making fun of myself? I just told you, apparently it makes me look cute. Ha. So try it sometime, you might make some new friends. Let your klutz shine.